Tips 17 and 18 ( #Praisingkids ) provide more illustrations on using praise in child development. Now, we consider how to make praise Effective
Praise immediately after the behavior. Don’t wait too long.
Give praise in a small incremental behavior. Don’t wait for the full behavior to occur
Also, praise when the full behavior is done
Don’t just fire. Great, wonderful, you are doing a great job. Something is missing. Be specific.
Praise the behavior not the person. It can make children feel bad if you personalize it. For example, Kofi, you are a good boy because you ate vegetables. It will make the boy feel bad. You can say. ‘Good, you ate the vegetables, then a pat at the back’
Don’t connect your love to the behavior. Do not say, you love your child because of that behavior. It is wrong to say Mommy and Daddy love you when you go to Sunday school. Give unconditional love to your child.
Do not say, you make Mommy and Daddy happy when you do this. Praise the behavior alone
Avoid Caboosing: avoid adding unnecessary extra comments after behavior. For example when you say, “Great, you wore your shirt, nice with a pat. Then you add, why can’t you always do that, as your sister always does, why do I have to nag always for lthis behavior.”
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